Pre-2006

This is an as is copy of entries from an older web page. There're some broken links, missing pictures and various other broken bits that I might get around to fixing one day.

Tue, Dec 20 2005

As a continuation of our year long attempt to visit at least half of the countries in the world ... Prague, Cuba, Budapest, Berlin a couple of times and probably somewhere else, we spent a whole day last week in Latvia. Someone's idea of a good Christmas night out, and, lets face it, cheaper than an ordinary night out at Newcastle quayside ...

Unfortunately, Mr Rufus Wainwright wasn't with us. He was, however at the Sage in Gateshead (although the poor man seemed to be a bit confused about where he actually was, "Gateshead? So not Newcastle? Can I mention Newcastle?') and we realised it would have been rude not to go and say hello to him. So we did ...

Busy busy busy. No wonder I'm ill!
The seriousness of my illness is succinctly (or more truthfully, ramblingly) summed up by the text message I sent to my beloved, a couple of hours after calling work to tell them I had the plague :

"Just woke up again. Had the strangest dreams. Think I was delirious. At one point Deb and Peter Andre were having a trampolining competition and I was shooting cartoon animals in the mouth with a magic key while a stadium full of people applauded me. I had to be smuggled out of the stadium via a wild west saloon because I was the new hero of the people and there was fear I might get mobbed. I'm not well, you know. Bit disoriented too. Woke up wondering where my bodyguard had gone."

No matter how bad I feel, I can at least console myself with the knowledge that I look a lot better than our new lodger ...

posted by Paula at 12:46:48 PM

Jet lag, burnt skin, insect (and snake) bites, thirty-something degrees, tropical storms, blisters, dogs with fleas, squabbling (children) and sulking (adult), cold spaghetti, stupidly heavy bags, women with facial hair and returning home to mountains of rabbit poo ...... but, well, what does that matter. I mean, well, CUBA!

posted by Gary at 00:44.

Sunday, 27 February 2005

Just a couple of quickies. We went to see The Pillowman the other night; it was funny in a disturbing kind of way, well worth seeing and evidence that posters in Metro stations are sometimes worthy of attention. Yesterday/today involved a trip to Blackpool, with a win on bingo, a hotel room with a haunted light fitting, total amnesia in respect of the rules for playing Dominoes, and ending with a rather profound statement from Paula ... Funny things, Seas.
posted by Gary at 20:58.

Wednesday, 23 February 2005

Yesterday
I was full of a cold and had a big spot on my chin. In a move designed to elicit sympathy from the other members of The Sodhouse, I groaned loudly and laid my head on the kitchen table :
Gary: Aww, is your spot weighing your head down, Paula?

Today.
Me: I asked you to take them upstairs yesterday.
James: You should have reminded me.
Me: I shouldn't have to remind you.
James: Well, I am blonde!

posted by Paula at 17:26.

Tuesday, 22 February 2005

There's something I should mention before Paula has time to come up with a story of her own to explain this. Yesterday, after looking at Paula's birth certificate, it became clear that she'd forgotten her name; or at least part of it. Her middle name, she's always told me, is Anne with an e. However, there's a distinct lack of said e on the certificate. Fortunately, the problem was speedily resolved by my fiancee (with two Es), who telephoned her mother in order to confirm her name. Help me. Please.
posted by Gary at 21:42.

Friday, 18 February 2005

8pm tonight, on the bus, on the way back from taking Rhiannon and her mate to the pictures, this lady sat next to me, shuddered and said, " I don't like hanging around there (bus station) ... too many radge-packets about"

Huh?
I got the gist of what she meant, but 've moved thirty miles further north and suddenly need a phrase book.
posted by Paula at 21:04.

Wednesday, 16 February 2005

Another day, another crime. Ian had his mobile nicked, in Sea, last night/this morning. That bloke has absolutely no luck with 'phones. Perhaps more importantly, though, what on earth was I doing there? And why was there a German in our cab?
posted by Gary at 10:32.

Sunday, 13 February 2005

It's been an eventful weekend, but first a 'phone picture of Paula; taken a couple of weeks ago I'm sure she's completely forgotten about it. Or had.

Yesterday was spent, as many Saturdays have been of late, tiling in Lucy and Ian's house. The end is now in sight, though. Anyway, to relax after a hard day's tiling, we decided on an excursion to Newcastle with Lucy and Ian. After several jugs of vodka and red bull in Gotham Town, someone (I've no memory as to whom) suggested going on to a club. As can be seen, below, the evening went very well initially.

However, as is often the case during a night out with Paula, there were incidents/accidents. Paula did, as is now customary, fall over several times while dancing. Eventually, she decided to exchange dance partners and, so, Ian was exchanged for a palm tree in Baha. This, unsurprisingly, led to injuries (in reality much worse than illustrated below), and a trip to the first aid room/disabled toilet.

The night ended with Paula limping home, as usual, a missed cab, Ian almost being arrested for swearing, Ian relieving himself outside Gateshead magistrates court and Lucy having her wallet stolen. The following morning involved a Police description of Ian as confused and very drunk and great soreness and memory lapses for Paula. All, however, agreed that it had been a good night. Today was spent sleeping, suffering and tiling.
posted by Gary at 21:20.

Friday, 11 February 2005

A letter landed on my desk today. A lovely, well written, beautifully presented letter, from a little old lady. She was 85 (she told me this in her letter) and she hadn't been well (she mentioned this too) and she was a trifle forgetful, as you are at 85. She told me a lot of stuff , but on page two, I swear to God, she wrote ...
" I have just turned the light on now, so that you can read this better .. "
Oh, I just wanted to hug her!

In other news, the Labour Party Conference kicked off today, just down the road. I have never in my life, seen such a strong police presence. They are everywhere. Ok, they all seemed to be in pairs, chatting, rather than glaring knowingly at passers-by and just daring them to plant a bomb or something, but they're there all the same, and I for one feel much safer. *cough*

And, on the way home tonight, my bus, crashed into a car. So we all had to get off. And wait for another bus. In the rain. And my shoes leaked. (No one was hurt by the way, but the boy racer in the car was less than pleased)

posted by Paula at 19:54.

Wednesday, 09 February 2005

Last weekend, Rhiannon was admiring (and scoffing slightly at) my new, very girly, sequin-encrusted, pink shoes, and asked where on earth I'd ever wear them. I told her we were going out that night and so I'd wear them then .....

" Hey, and if they hung you upside down, you could be the glitter ball! "

Kids.
posted by Paula at 17:17.

Wednesday, 09 February 2005

It feels very strange to be typing this when I should be at work. But, of course, I should be grateful to Powergen for the morning off. It's now six weeks since our meter was changed and, by coincidence, six weeks since we've had a reliable electricity supply. During the past week and a bit, we've spent silly amounts of time on hold to various call centres and have suffered because we live out of area and because our account is still on our old system and hasn't been migrated yet.

I'll now occupy my last remaining seconds of electricity with a mouse story. Picture a cute, furry little grey thing; harmless really, eh? Now picture it a couple of weeks after death, firmly wedged (or rather glued by bodily fluids) between two pipes leading from the combi-boiler. Despite my (I'll say 'my' because Paula wouldn't come within shouting .... or screaming ... distance) best efforts with a chopstick (Paula's suggested tool), a screwdriver and a hand wrapped in an old T-shirt, the deceased creature put up a good fight and remained stuck to the pipes. During this time, there was much running around, screaming, retching and swearing. This included memorable comments from Paula, such as 'I'm not bothered if you're sick; I'll clean it up. Just get rid of it' and 'I'll ring someone, pretend you're not here and be a helpless female'.

Eventually, it released its grip in several stages (or, I should say, pieces) and we were able to begin a clean-up operation. Well, there was one piece which was discovered afterwards but it was drenched in bleach before it became unstuck and disappeared into the darkness behind a kitchen unit.

A man from Northern Electric just arrived. We have electricity again.
posted by Gary at 10:07.

Sunday, 06 February 2005

'Everett is an artist who steadfastly refuses to play by the rules of today's entertainment machine, and is willing to pay the price'

The new Eels album, blinking lights and other revelations, is due for release on 26 April.
posted by Gary at 18:59.

Friday, 04 February 2005

I've been meaning to say for a while ... please ignore that thing at the side of the page which tells you which book I'm reading. It's invariably, stupidly out of date.
For instance, I gave up on "Guns, Germs and Steel "ages ago. I liked it, but not enough to keep picking it up again. No doubt it will join the rest of the half-read-but-will-get-round-to-finishing-one-day books. Since then I've read Michael Palin's Himalaya and, building on my current habit of reading anything written by a newsreader, John Humphreys' Lost For Words.

I was reminded how up to date that thing was while watching the programme about the Da Vinci Code last night (which I thought was rubbish, by the way ... Tony Robinson asking searching (?!) questions of an author, the author humming and haa'ing and edited to look like an idiot. Tony Robinson asking the same question to an 'academic', who flatly denies any truth in any of the theories. Tony Robinson turning to camera and saying 'There you go. Told you it was nonsense. I'm right, you're wrong, Na na na na na'...or something) ........anyway, I digress.

I was reminded how out of date that thing was because they were banging on about 'Holy Blood and the The Holy Grail' last night. Which I've read, but which didn't make it onto the little doo-dah at the side of the blog.
I went on a bit of a book buying spree the other day. There's no doubt that half of those won't end up getting their picture on the side of the blog, so I shall mention them all now.........(I'm waiting for the people at the Electricity Company to answer the bloody phone; it's on speaker beside me and I have to keep typing all this nonsense just to occupy myself - no one said you had to read it. ) John Humphrys' "Devils Advocate" (because he's a newsreader) ; Alan Carr's autobiography (because he stopped smoking ); A Paul Theroux one (because he's Louis' brother); "Growing up with Lucy" (because the cover photo of 'Lucy' looks dead cute); 'The Know it All' (because it sounded good); 'The Adventure of English' by Melvin Bragg (which I know now, I won't bother finishing, if I even bother starting it) and 'The Time Traveller's Wife' (because... it's a recommended read on the Richard and Judy Book Club.. *cough*)

K, that's me done.

posted by Paula at 16:32.

Thursday, 03 February 2005

Why do Metro stations (and shopping centres) have shiny, tiled floors?
I'll tell you why. It's so young(ish), vibrant(ish) girls-about- town, striding confidently along the concourse in kitten heels, can slip and fall on their arse, providing the 8.30 am commuters with a good laugh and brightening their day immensely.
That's why.

Day 3 of not smoking (again) and my trousers kept sliding down today, so all is going well on the starving myself front too.
Am off to watch Tony Robinson's attempt to unravel the Da Vinci Code now. I love a good conspiracy theory. In fact Elvis and I were only talking about it yesterday....
posted by Paula at 20:29.

Wednesday, 02 February 2005

For two years or so, I've been reading Ivan Noble's journal on the BBC News site.
He had a particularly nasty brain tumour and wrote about his treatments, his setbacks, his remission and how he was coping with the illness. Sometimes the journal was upsetting; sometimes inspiring but after a while you genuinely began to care and hope against hope that this bloke you'd never met would make it; that he would beat the cancer and live to see his children grow up.

That is why it was particularly upsetting to read last week that he was too ill to continue to update his journal. And shocking, to open up a copy of the Metro on the way to work today and learn that he had died on Monday, at the age of 37.

I can't think of a single thing to write that doesn't sound rubbish, but his journal is here for anyone who wants to read it.
And everyone should.

posted by Paula at 15:26.

A few weeks ago (yes, this blog is incredibly current) I wandered into our bedroom and started swearing because it was such a tip. Then I looked a little more closely.

Methinks a certain child is watching way too much TV.
Rhiannon: What time is Gary coming home?
Me: Late tonight.
Rhiannon: Oh yeah, he's in Ireland isn't he? Ooh, maybe he'll see Louis Walsh!

Next weekend is sorted out. I've managed to rearrange my appointment for the following weekend. Of course,we're so bloody busy at the moment that it had to clash with something else we had planned so it's still a bit rubbish. But at least I get to travel First Class to London (on a freebie ticket!) along with everyone else and not just meet them somewhere later on when there'll be just enough time to have a drink and then collapse into bed, in a big swank hotel which we're getting dirt cheap. Hurrah for work perks! But unfortunately not my work perks. I don't get perks. I'd been there a month before they sorted me out with my own desk. 'Twas rubbish.
posted by Paula at 16:46.

... and Bird have been sharing the living room for a while now and the new squatters in our kitchen are a couple of zebra finches. Gary, who is at pains to point out that he is "not a pet person", bought them after a trip to the local petshop to buy bird food.

This weekend was quite laid back compared to most weekends. After building the biggest bookcase in the world it came as not much of a surprise to discover that we could have filled it at least twice over and are still left with a mountain of books which have no permanent home.

Next weekend we're going to London (yay) but as the trip we booked weeks ago clashes horribly with plans I made only yesterday it's logistically a bit of a headache. Either everyone travels down on Saturday morning as planned, with me following behind six hours later, or else we cut the weekend short and Gary and I head back early on Sunday morning. Grumble.
posted by Paula at 17:55.

This house stuff is very tiring. Yet another weekend has been spent entirely in the kitchen, climbing over or crawling under things. And yet more muck was inhaled and eaten. The end's in sight, though. At least as far as the kitchen's concerned. The living room's next ... then the bathroom (we can't take the avocado green mess for much longer) ... then the ...

Sunday, 31 October 2004 22:56

Paula just yelled, James, BED!!!. It may work. It's late; we're tired, but clean (for the first time in ages it seems), a bit drunk, and almost ready to watch the 2nd repeat (this week) of Little Britain.

The kitchen floor tiles are finished, now, although I'd begun to think we'd never get there. The kitchen may actually look good one day.

By way of an update, my Solicitor rang the other day ... H's solicitor has offered an out-of-court settlement of 8k. Although I do realise that I'd get more if I held out, I'm accepting on the basis that I'm making a point and that it must hurt H a lot simply to have to come clean. Hopefully, everything will be cleared up before the two-year mark.

I'm off to watch TV with my gorgeous fiancee now ... 'night :)

Tuesday, 19 October 2004 21:36

The new series of Little Britain started tonight. Although there's no physical resemblance whatsoever, the Andy character reminds me very much of Paula ... 'I want that' ... 'No, I want that one' ... 'No I want the other one'.

Saturday, 16 October 2004 14:11

We went into town last night with a bunch of people from work. It was good to get away from the dust and bits of kitchen unit that seem to have taken over the house lately. We had a good night too, although Paula did her usual buying a pitcher of brightly coloured stuff while drunk, then deciding she didn't want it after all. Oh, and (another as usual), Paula fell over again. A picture of her knee may follow.

Saturday, 09 October 2004 00:15

We went across the road to one of our new locals, for a couple, tonight. As we walked in, the barmaid said 'two?' I responded 'yes' and was presented with two pints of Fosters. We've only been in the pub three or four times so far!

Thursday, 07 October 2004 22:15

Things have been busy of late. I may have mentioned this previously. However, I finally made time to get my 'phone to speak to the computer again. This one was taken at our new local.

Tuesday, 05 October 2004 22:01

I saw the end of a rainbow today. I really did.

Please excuse the mobile 'phone picture (taken from a moving car).

The builders arrived today. They are doing stuff with large pieces of wood, saws and nails in the loft. There is noise and also dirt, but not as much of either as was expected. Though the windows did shake at one point. A wall is to be knocked down tomorrow to allow for more stuff with large pieces of wood. Big metal bits will also be involved.

It's been very busy of late. Both work and home. The builders have gone now, though, so we're now beginning to reclaim the house. I'll do more of an update when I get the time but, meanwhile, a minor observation. At the time of writing, Paula is sitting on the bed, wearing sunglasses while watching TV.

Saturday, 11 September 2004 10:58

Despite somewhat turbulent beginnings, life in the ***house is now at a point of peace, calm and happiness.

Wednesday, 01 September 2004 21:45

I almost put up some pictures of the ***house on my new (and very limited) web space, but couldn't be bothered. I have, however, made three important discoveries in the past day and a bit. In order of discovery, there's the best chip shop on earth, the advantage of living so close to a takeaway and, lastly, a cheap booze shop.

Monday, 26 July 2004 00:12

Well, perhaps I should add just this one ... after all, this is how it all started.

Sunday, 25 July 2004 22:10

A picture of my neice (well, I'm too young to be a grandad); isn't she just great? If I was old enough to be a grandad I would, of course, be very proud to have her as my grandchild (lost!)

And, continuing my nature theme, here're a couple of bees. And, considering that this picture was taken in Stockton, they appear quite healthy. Well, one did have eight legs and two heads (lost!)

There was other stuff to write but, to be honest, I can't be bothered tonight. And this is probably my last entry for a while, since I need to spend the rest of the week packing all my worldly possessions into boxes. It feels very strange knowing that my house won't be my house in just a few days. I hope the new people look after it; after all, I've spent more than half my life in it and one of my kids was even born upstairs, in my bedroom. I could go on. But I won't. This is 86 Cherwell, signing off. Crackle. Hiss.

Friday, 23 July 2004 01:07

(Lost picture!)

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:12

Did I mention that I like poppies?

(Lost picture!)

Thursday, 15 July 2004 22:01

Had a call from the people buying my house tonight. They want to complete next week. Now this is a minor problem, since I was reliant on the progress of their snail-like solicitor to compensate for the fact that the bank/solicitor has lost the deeds to my house. OK, so maybe I should have mentioned to the buyers that the deeds were missing.

Wednesday, 14 July 2004 21:54

I love the Tour de France. I really do. I watch it on TV every year. I've done so for many years. But I have to state very strongly that Sean Kelly's fucking awful accent is doing my head in. Big time.

Tuesday, 13 July 2004 06:35

The current contents of my fridge are: a tub of sunflower spread, a can of Tetley's bitter (I don't remember how that got there because I don't like Tetley's bitter), a carton of orange juice, a jar of beetroot (Paula), half a bottle of milk (again, Paula, because I don't drink milk), half a jar of passata, some salad cream and some mouldy pease pudding (I'd forgotten I had that) ... oh, and some of that neither-plant-nor-animal-substance that lives only in the bottom of fridges. I think I need to buy stuff.

Sunday, 11 July 2004 00:14

A night out in Newcastle (soon to be our adopted home) involved very nice cocktails, some excellent plans for a wedding and only one theft ... Paula's larger than usual bag ( a bargain at only £3) accommodated a pitcher from Gotham Town.

Saturday, 10 July 2004 18:00

We had a most peculiar, but good, time last night in Sunderland; which included visiting a pub filled with strange menacing women with very thin legs, large round stomachs and extremely bad singing voices. Paula lost a contact lens, (and then found it in/on: 1. her rice; 2. her chest) but acquired some new beer glasses from Baroque and a distaste for chicken in an Indian restaurant (which I will probably be too embarrassed to visit again).

Thursday, 08 July 2004 23:01

Hearing (and reading) Paula's account of the child-poo-vomit experience makes me so glad that I've never had my vasectomy reversed. And overjoyed that it was she who had the above experience. While I'm on the subject of the small, curly haired child (I mean Sophie, not Paula), I came across this the other day.

(Lost picture!)

Wednesday, 07 July 2004 17:26

There're a couple of Eels songs that relate to Daisies, and even an album appropriately titled, but there's one that's a favourite. It has a great line that goes ... I thought some daisies might cheer you up. Which reminds me; we're going to have daisies in our garden when we move. Oh um, a picture. I took it myself (Lost picture!).

I like this one too, although it's nothing to do with daisies (Lost picture!).

And, while I'm on the subject of nature (-ish), my once-mutilated apple tree seems to be doing just fine (Lost picture!).

Tuesday, 06 July 2004 21:59

I just watched 55 Degrees North. No, not the overpriced ex-1960s office-block-come-apartments, but the new TV series ... set in Newcastle, with a cockney central character of course. Although the high-level and swing bridges (and, naturally, the quayside)did feature, it's just another cop show. There'll almost certainly be a high speed chase past the Angel of the North (or is that Ayngewl ov the Nowf?) or the Baltic next week, I'm sure. A night-time one at that. Hmmm.

Monday, 05 July 2004 19:56

While walking home from work the other day, I felt an urge to take a photo. This, somewhat reduced, image doesn't quite look as good as the original, but you get the idea (Lost!).

And, tonight, I took another one. Last year, on my way to work, I ended the lives of several tiny frogs before realising that hundreds of them were walking across the footpath. I'm assuming that this (which is no bigger than my thumbnail) is one of their children (Lost!).

Thursday, 01 July 2004 02:43

Fucking hell ... although I do like a night out, I'm not so sure about a night out of this silly duration ... and with my children's partners. Don't they realise that I'm twice their age!? And beer-induced philosophical debates simply do my head in. On a positive note, I did acquire an ash tray for Paula from Beach.

Wednesday, 30 June 2004 07:23

Is anyone else sick to death of Wimbledon?

Sunday, 27 June 2004 12:11

As can be seen from my (Paula's) last entry, my fiancee wasn't very well last night. While extremely drunk, she fell off a tiny step when exiting a bar by Fatfield riverside, injuring (slightly) her ankle and (fatally) a bottle of vodka. After returning home, shortly before my making curry and my fiancee's commandeering of my green bucket (a reminder of my old flat's roof problems), a brief conversation took place as Paula was crawling around the house:

Gary Do you want me to do anything?

Paula No. I want you to chop my head off.

Saturday, 26 June 2004 23:27

HI. My name is Paula. You may know me from such stories as ... " when idiots fall off steps and break ankles" and " when gary makes curry". we went out for TWO drinks tonight. At the time of typing I have the most painful ankle in the world, after falling off a step ; ian is being v.sick and making sicky noises; lucy and gary are making chickpea curry and a lot of noise and I think I may want to die. My leg hurts. Lots. Gary has photos. I fell off a step which was all of an inch deep and I fear I may never walk again. I certainly cant type. Did I mention I broke my ankle? Ian has gone very quiet. I fear he may be asleep. I want curry. And I have broken my ankle. Paula just broke her leg. Ian is hiccuping. All is well

Saturday, 19 June 2004 21:30

We went to the Hoppings today, on Newcastle Town Moor; it was good and as big and noisy as ever, but the rain was a pain. What else happened? Um ... nothing much really ... well, apart from Paula getting out of bed at the crack of dawn to go to an all-day job recruitment/assessment thing in Newcastle. It's a shame it isn't happening until next week, though. Oh, we're off to Berlin tomorrow ... ah, those purity laws.

Friday, 18 June 2004 07:36

Lucy mentioned this to me a while ago, but I've only just gotten around to looking ... I may have to buy one as a reminder of my days of regular exposure to toxic chemicals (Lost picture!).

Sunday, 13 June 2004 21:44

For want of a better word, I'm knackered. I think we must have covered around 90% of Teesside on foot this weekend. My legs are achey and one of them is sunburned (or perhaps it's a radiation burn), but I've had a great couple of days. Considerable restraint was exercised when stopping at hostelries for cold beer and a surprising variety of wildlife was encountered; including overly friendly, drooling cows, sheep (contrary to popular belief, Teesside sheep have only four legs and aren't terribly mutated), a horse, a squirrel, a grasshopper, a rabbit (although it may have been a rat) and a very smelly man at the station. Speaking of smells, I've noticed that the underside of the bridge adjacent to Stockton station has of late developed a strong smell of sewage. And, while on the subject of observations, I've noticed that the Kittiwakes (they really do sometimes sound like cats) in Sunderland city centre are positively thriving on discarded Greggs' pasty and Big Mac remnants. Oh ... I couldn't really mention our epic walk(s) without a picture of Paula's scruffy feet (Lost picture!).

Thursday, 10 June 2004 19:29

It's both hilarious and scary at the same time to think that this one's for real: he found out hes got goul stones and they are playing him up big time and hes got the sack from hes job as well which was not good for him (And you should read his ex-girlfriend's work of literary genius ... or perhaps not. This isn't suitable for small children or old ladies; well, certainly not the former).

Wednesday, 09 June 2004 01:06

In my ongoing quest to reduce the big box full of photos into something more portable, I've come across another quality picture. This one's an allegedly 400-year-old cat, which resides in a cabinet, which in turn is housed in an old wooden chest (I'm sure there's a very good reason for this), in Keswick museum. I think that, in common with the museum itself, it's beginning to show its age (Lost Picture!).

Tuesday, 08 June 2004 07:49

I've started scanning, and binning, old photos using Paula's scanner (once I'd figured how to unlock it, that is), after the unfortunate demise of my own scanner. Anyway, as I'd expected, I didn't get very far before boredom set in ... but I did come across this picture from a couple of years ago (Lost picture!)

Wednesday, 26 May 2004 18:17

I just love this: How to Good-bye Depression : If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Tuesday, 25 May 2004 21:23

It's very strange how it's possible to become attached to old computer bits. Ever since I built/upgraded my first PC (it was actually an XT; and a blindingly fast 12mhz turbo XT at that, with twin 5.25" floppies), I've tended to keep leftover parts as a 'just in case'. Although it was difficult, I've just filled two bin bags with bits that would surely have come in useful one day. I've even parted company with my first 286 (a lightning 16mhz) motherboard (with a huge 1mb SIPP memory), some 30-pin sticks of RAM (totalling no more than a couple of meg I'd imagine), my very first 8-bit sound card, and even a massive 210mb hard drive (which I'd bought in the early 90s, to replace the 286's 40 meg drive, for a mere £250). I did, however, retain some SIMMs of unknown size (I think my printer uses these), a 5.25" floppy drive (the kind with the big knob on the front) and some 360k disks. Well, you just never know.

Monday, 24 May 2004 18:58

Despite the very best efforts of my ex-wife and a hacksaw/axe, my apple tree came back from the dead (or rather a stump) a couple of years ago. It now has apples. Lots of little apples. There has to be an analogy there somewhere.

On a slightly negative note, however, nothing could be done to resurrect my lovingly-crafted, life size, concrete gorilla which once graced a shaded corner of my garden, after it was reduced to rubble by said ex-wife armed with a sledge hammer.

Sunday, 23 May 2004 23:44

Paula's already described, with reasonable accuracy, how she learned to operate a lift at the age of 33, so I won't go there. However, I would like to mention a recent Paula statement, or was it a question (?), along the lines of 'have you seen the size of that?' The question was asked by my intended in the early hours of the morning and, after some therapy/questioning, I determined that it related to a rather bizarre dream about an attempt by an elderly man, known only as Morrissey, to purchase the house that we're trying to buy ourselves. Apparently, the aforementioned question related to a giant Hello Kitty character which was on stage with the singer (I suppose that description very loosely applies). I found it all rather worrying for a few seconds until I fell asleep again. In the cold light of day, though, it's just another incidence of Paula's: talking in her sleep, dreaming, snoring .........

I should perhaps add that I'd been wondering for months why, every time I'd been in a lift with Paula, we'd found ourselves going first in the opposite direction to that intended. I also wonder what on earth I'm letting myself in for.

Tuesday, 18 May 2004 22:05

Sophie: Grandad?

Gary: Yes, Sophie?

Sophie: It's very hot; why don't we go to the shop and buy beer to cool us down?

Gary: That's an excellent idea, Sophie.

Sunday, 16 May 2004 22:47

I found the bugger. Of course this picture is a scaled-down image of the huge object that wrecked two inner tubes. I've named it Hayley in view of all the hassle it's caused me (Lost picture!)

Friday, 14 May 2004 19:13

All I seem to have done this week is rush around from place to place ... St Albans, Liverpool, Belfast ... and I've been looking forward to the weekend. After buying a new tube for my front wheel on my way home, I thought I'd avoid at least some public transport by using my bike. However, my brand new tube lasted all of a couple of miles and was in such a mess that I had to walk home. I'm hot. I need cold beer. Fuck.

Thursday, 13 May 2004 07:11

Gary - this morning's meeting's been cancelled so there's no need to hurry into work.Ugh ... a fat lot of good that is when I've already dragged myself out of bed.

Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:22

Huh ... I was in a car in the middle of the Lake District when I heard that our offer had been accepted, so my fiancee's told the world before I made it back home. We've got a house ... the little house we wanted (Lost picture!)

Tuesday, 11 May 2004 00:33

I'm definitely suffering from a lack of sleep; unfortunately, I've no non-sock-dyed shirts washed and ironed ready for work in the morning (oh, it's morning already), and the colour-run stuff can wait another day, so it looks as though I'll be a slob at work tomorrow (or today). Today (or yesterday) was productive, albeit stressful, although I'm now faced with potential court costs of £10,000. On the positive side, I've apparently an 80-85% chance of winning, so what the hell. I managed to have a pint in Wetherspoons in St Albans today (yesterday) without being followed by a deranged ex-girlfriend and another in the Fighting Cocks (it's said to be the oldest pub in the country, you know ... I'm not quite sure who said though) without banging my head (oh, and did I mention that Dave's brother used to work there a long time ago ... weird, eh?) ... (Lost picture!).

Saturday saw my first anniversary with Paula; we re-visited the Hole in the Wall in Darlington to mark the occasion and, while the pub hadn't improved at all in the past year, we had a great time.

Friday, 07 May 2004 18:27

It appears that we've sold my house. And for more than I'd expected. Now, all that remains is to find somewhere to live. Hmmm.

Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:35

Oh fuck. I have a court date, so it's another trip to St Albans. It's not a very nice feeling knowing that you're right, but don't have any significant chance of proving it. And, yet again, I get very little advance notice. But, on a more positive note, isn't it just great how something small can be so good ... (Lost picture!)

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 07:07

Although I realise that it's untypical of me, I'm going to whinge this morning. I don't like Monday mornings, or their equivalents (had a day off yesterday), I don't want to go to work (not least because I'm supposed to be on leave this week) and I really do want to go back to bed (I've been accustomed to sleeping a lot of late). Oh, and I really didn't enjoy sleeping alone last night. I'm presently on my second cup of coffee this morning and delaying my departure for work by any means available to me.

Wednesday, 17 March 2004 00:14

It's occurred to me that I've spent more time with dentists recently than I have during the whole of my pre-broken-tooth life. My concrete-like rebuilt tooth, although guaranteed for a year, survived a week and a half. Its end came about, somewhat prematurely, as a result of one pathetically small piece of chocolate. One bite was enough to ensure total disintegration of my new tooth. My dentist, who's coincidentally falling in terms of popularity, has given me a (another) new construction that loosely resembles a tooth. Let's see how long this one lasts.

Tuesday, 16 March 2004 00:54

After a year of planning to redecorate my bedroom, I finally got around to picking up a paintbrush. And it's only taken me three weeks! Damn good, though, isn't it? (Lost pictures!).

Monday, 15 March 2004 06:45

Stark, gorgeous songs weave a spell of deep-seated loneliness coupled with unceasing introspection; the album is a gut punch from the first hanging, ethereal note. "These are your secrets, hidden inside," she murmurs on the opening track, then lays them out, one by one, like canapés at a suicide's farewell party. Lisa Germano - Lullaby for liquid pig.

Thursday, 04 March 2004 00:39

It's been brought to my attention that I've neglected to mention someone on my web page. My neice ... I have one ... she's called Abigail. Here she is, eating a strange sea creature (Lost picture!).

Wednesday, 03 March 2004 20:54

I'd forgotten that I have a very nice dentist. Not that there was anything wrong with the very pleasant, and far too honest, dentist who extracted my tooth a couple of weeks ago. But he didn't sympathise with me quite as much as my own dentist did today. My dentist is, I've now decided, just great. Although I knew already, particularly since re-breaking a tooth on Saturday, that I was very brave and that I'd suffered and endured great pain and discomfort for a period of weeks, it was satisfying to have this recognised by my dentist. She was even very nice when explaining that the concrete-like reconstruction of my tooth may not endure serious eating and will have a limited lifespan. To be perfectly honest, though, I don't want to see another dentist as long as I live. It still hurts by the way. But I'm not whinging.

Tuesday, 02 March 2004 07:27

We've had a lot of snow lately, although it'll probably thaw today. Of course, where there's snow there's the inevitable snowman. This rather peculiar one is courtesy of my fiancee. I'll not mention the snowdog, though (Lost picture!).

Monday, 26 April 2004 20:00

Looked at another house tonight. It'd have been a runner if it hadn't been heavily house-doctored. Still, I was sorely tempted to put in an offer after being told that one of the rooms would make an ideal home-office for me, that I'm very well spoken, and that I don't look old enough to have a grown-up child (which, of course, I don't).

Sunday, 25 April 2004 18:37

After cutting the grass, front and back, I realised that I quite like my little back garden. I particularly like it on a warm, sunny evening. This realisation, of course, necessitated the purchase of beer. In turn, this, with the addition of a book, will allow be to fully appreciate both the aforementioned garden and warm, sunny evening. An addendum ... The combination of garden, book and beer worked very well, although I was interrupted by the Divine Comedy, or rather by my daughter's call and a very distorted Neil Hannon singing National Express. Anyway, while reading the local newspaper (ok, while putting my bike chain on newspaper while fitting a new tube), I noticed this picture. Am I seeing things or does that bloke have his hand on Joanna Lumley's bum? (Lost picture!).

Friday, 23 April 2004 00:00

It's a little odd seeing a picture of my house in a newspaper ... even if it doesn't really look a lot like my house (Lost picture!).

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:32

A text message received from my fiancee today: Im i appear to be on a train, near seaham, en route to an interview that isn't being held until tomorrow morning! Shit, lol.

Saturday, 10 April 2004 21:54

OK, so you have to use a little imagination here. The ever so slightly fuzzy picture was taken with my 'phone so there's an obvious quality issue. However, it is just possible to make out my fiancee attempting to remain seated on one of those electric cow things. Buffalo Joe's, Newcastle (Lost picture!)

Tuesday, 06 April 2004 07:00

I should have been in court today. But I'm not because the crappy Southern County Court can't read a calendar properly. Arse.

Monday, 01 March 2004 21:31

Back to work already! It's hard to believe how quickly the past ten days have passed. Prague was great; there was even snow. We'd wanted to see the place in Winter and we weren't disappointed. Our matching coats were the envy of Prague and we were only occasionally mistaken for Germans.

It's probably best that I don't mention Paula forgetting to tell the time when reading timetables, somehow managing to arrange a major beer spillage in the same restaurant as last time, letting out extremely girlie screams when sliding on ice, confidently leading everyone in the wrong direction (fortunately my excellent sense of direction, cat-like reflexes and agility of a mountain goat saved the day), inventing a new, unique use for an egg cup, stealing everything in sight (I'm becoming accustomed to this) and taking up a new line of work as a smuggler. I'm sure there were many other things that it's also best not to mention, including our almost total memory loss involving most of an evening, but they've slipped my mind at the moment. I will add, though, that Paula looked stunning in her bright blue fluffy gloves. They were the perfect addition to her German army surplus parka.

Friday, 20 February 2004 08:04

I'm tired this morning. No, that doesn't quite capture it. I'm wrecked; and this is rapidly becoming a normal state. Can't wait for next week ... just for the break, of course. Stupidly cheap, non-chemical beer has nothing to do with it.

Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:42

After working later than I'd intended, I decided to put down dust sheets (ready for sanding) in the bedroom before I ate. Shortly after moving the piece of old tree that's lived in my bedroom(s) for a few years now, I heard a buzzing sound. At first, I assumed it was something electrical so ignored it ... but then I looked up and saw a huge monster of a wasp. It took half a can of flyspray before I could even risk going back into the bedroom. It's actually still wiggling.

I'm beginning to get accustomed to the gap in my teeth. I'm not saying that I like having a gap in my teeth, but I am finding that my tongue isn't drawn to it as much as it has been the past few days. I am, though, most unimpressed with the fact that a couple of days hasn't seen the closure of the bloody big hole in my head. I'm not sure why, but I'd assumed it'd be fine after a day or two. However, help appears to be at hand (Lost picture!).

Monday, 16 February 2004 20:40

It's strange how the dado rail in my bedroom, which took many hours to fit a dozen or more years ago, came down in 20 minutes. The wall's a bit of a mess though. Time to gain more plastering experience I think. And, on a positive note, my child's leaflet campaign has resulted in the successful recovery of Pilchard, who went missing a few days ago in the darkest depths of Sunderland.

Sunday, 15 February 2004 22:54

OK ... I've had my first tooth extraction of adulthood. And it'll be my last. It didn't hurt much at all, I admit, but it wasn't a very nice experience. Oh, Richard Feynman ... I called, and rightly so, Richard Feynman an arse as opposed to a tit. A self-centred, egotistical arse at that. Although I do acknowledge his intellect, I also know an arse when I see one. And, while I'm on the subject of unpleasant things, referring to the tooth removal, I had my first sight of ticks this weekend. Admittedly, they were technically ex-ticks (since they were preserved in turpentine), but I did get to see just how disgusting they are. They simply don't belong in a civilised world.

Thursday, 12 February 2004 18:57

The smell of rubber and gas ... the feeling of suffocation and the ice-coldness with each breath ... counting 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 ... throwing up on the dentist. I was only six years old. I'm more afraid of what tomorrow brings than when I was six.

Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:31

Chut, Dicka and Heap ... I'm just home tonight after meeting up with my two best mates from school. It's somewhat horrifying to recognise that it's been almost 27 years since the three of us have been together in the same place. It was good, though. And, of course, the three of us are even more handsome than ever.

Tuesday, 10 February 2004 07:42

I need to learn never to start ironing shirts at midnight. It really doesn't put me in any frame of mind to get a good night's (or whatever was left of it) sleep. Or maybe I just need to learn to wash shirts more often, so that I don't run out at silly times. Anyway, found this between ironing shirts. The yellow bits are counties I've been to, not including time solely spent in a car or on a train etc. I did rub out a few places, such as the odd island here and there, at the click of a mouse button, but I was in a rush (Lost picture).

Sunday, 08 February 2004 23:15

My eyes aren't stinging any longer. The bath helped a lot. The house still smells badly of smoke, though. I learned from living in my old flat, after seeing a man digging through rubbish bins, that I should take care when disposing of old bank or credit card statements. I usually tear these up into tiny pieces before putting them in the bin. But, when faced with a huge heap of old credit card statements (found during a clearout), I decided that burning them would make more sense. It didn't quite work as I'd planned.

Friday, 06 February 2004 07:57

I feel a little odd this morning ... I've not taken any painkillers since early yesterday evening. My head does hurt quite a bit, but it's nothing compared to just a couple of days ago. The swelling's also going down nicely, although I'm mildly concerned that it may outlive my dwindling supply of antibiotics. I never thought I'd say it, but I wish I was having this damn tooth pulled out today. I've had my whinge for the day now.

Tuesday, 03 February 2004 22:19

It's been a very strange few days; that's strange as in both good and bad ways. It started Thursday evening with mild neuralgia. It wasn't much to talk about and I didn't take anything for it. By the next morning it had dulled to a slight buzz in my head. However, by mid-afternoon, my head was hurting quite a lot and I had to resort to borrowing a couple of paracetamol. By the time I returned home from work, the pain in my head had increased so I hunted around the kitchen and found another couple of paracetamol. Knowing that this wouldn't be effective (I do suffer from neuralgia now and again so I know from experience what does and doesn't help), I decided to buy some ibuprofen on my way to Paula's that evening.

I was surprised (and hurting) to find that the ibuprofen had little effect, so I tried some cocodamol that Paula found in her bag. These helped at first, but by Saturday morning the pain in my head was pretty bad and the pills seemed to have no effect. After a trip to Tesco (their painkillers are unbelievably cheap), I found that a combination of cocodamol, ibuprofen, paracetamol and aspirin did help.

Again, though, after only a few hours these too had no effect. A visit to an emergency doctor the next day (Sunday) resulted in new painkillers, dihydrocodeine. These also worked for a couple of hours, even though I needed to double the dose (Paula had checked on the internet for safe quantities). After experimenting (and after Paula had consulted a pharmacist), I found that a combination of dihydrocodeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen went a long way towards easing the pain in my head. Luckily, I couldn't move around a lot, because I felt so rough, so I didn't need to worry about stuff rattling around inside me.

But then there was the lump. It appeared overnight, emerging in full glory Monday morning. It was (is) a big lump. There's a picture on my web page, so I'll not go into detail here. The point, though (and I realise that I often take a while to get there), is that the appearance of the lump pointed towards a tooth as the root (no pun intended) cause. A trip to the hospital (a difficult thing to locate in Teesside as the smog there can be quite dense) and dentist confirmed that a tooth was to blame. And, just to make matters worse, it needs to come out. Well, it's either that or a root canal filling and I don't want to go there. I now have a week and a half to worry about it.

Oh, I did mention 'good', didn't I? Well, I now have antibiotics and, although the lump is still very much present, I've been able to cut down on painkillers. But antibiotics weren't the main 'good' thing about the past few days. My fiancee was.

In fact she was damn good. I don't know how I'd have managed without her. I couldn't even think straight, but Paula did everything. I do realise that checking ailments and drugs on the internet wasn't a serious challenge to her (after all, my fiancee is the self-proclaimed queen of the internet), but she did absolutely everything that she could. She rang around what seemed like scores of doctors and dentists, she took me to the doctor/hospital/dentist, stayed with me even though she'd be late for work, put up with the most irritating cab driver in Teeside (if not the North East), made me loads of cups of coffee, made sure I was ok before she went to sleep ... hell, she even asked me 'have you had a poo yet?' (apparently, one side-effect of the pills is constipation).

Basically, she was great.

Wednesday, 28 January 2004

Gary:

'Jacklyn ... do you think I rambled on a bit in that workshop? I mean, when I asked whether I'd answered that girl's question and she said she'd forgotten what she'd asked.'

Jacklyn:

'I don't know; I think I nodded off.'

Huh

Tuesday, 27 January 2004

Chris (consultant):

'Gary makes an excellent sounding board'

Carole:

'It's ok, I've seen this before. He's thinking'

Monday, 26 January 2004

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a creepy atmosphere ... you know, the kind where you're sure that something is behind you. Unidentifiable noises heard, scarcely audible above the howling of the wind. Distant, but somehow close. Wait ... what was that ... the wail of a creature of the night ... oh, it's only Paula's cat, bitten by another tick.

My fiance wiggled a tick ... ugh.

Thursday, 22 January 2004

I'm unwell today. I'm so used to being not unwell that I sometimes get a little sloppy when it comes to health-related matters. I've intended getting a new inhaler for a few weeks now but, despite remembering to pick up a prescription, I've not actually gotten around to it. I'd actually clean forgotten all about it and only remembered this morning after wondering why I couldn't breathe properly. I'll get an inhaler at the weekend I think.

I'm also in great pain. It's unrelated to asthma, but it's not very nice either. It's the result of an accident which resulted in considerable blood loss and which left me with a severe injury. It hurts.

Monday, 19 January 2004

It's peculiar, even though I've had a deep, unbroken night's sleep and quite like my job, that (in common with almost every single Monday morning) I just don't want to go to work. I want to go back to bed.

Friday, 16 January 2004

I just discovered that it's impossible to have a wee and clean my teeth at the same time.

Tuesday, 13 January 2004

There've been a lot of coincidental happenings lately. I'll not go into them, now though ... well, I've forgotten most of them already. However, as I was eating my incredibly well prepared meal this evening, Watchdog was on TV. I tend not to make a habit of watching Watchdog, but it often coincides with my eating habits.

Anyway, I wasn't particularly paying any attention to it until I hear Eels' 'that's not really funny' playing. I've loved that song since the first time I heard it, live at a concert at the London Forum. There're a few great lines, although the best are: 'I'm a man, I am your man, and you're my little honey'. And, of course, there's 'You make delicious pie, and that's enough for me'. Anyway, what was my point? Oh, yes. After 'Little Britain' (which is surely the funniest thing on TV) came 'Monkey Dust'. And the theme tune to that is ... yes, 'that's not really funny'. Well, I thought it was good.

I received an e-mail from someone via Friends Reunited earlier today. It was from a man called Geordie (George, I assume) Jackson. Apparently, he was an old mate of my dad's. However, after asking for more information, I realised that he wasn't talking about my dad who, at least to the best of my knowledge, hadn't changed his name to Jimmy and hadn't taken to CB radio. Somehow it was a relief.

Monday, 12 January 2004

A reminder to myself ... not to consume alcohol with my children on any evening which is followed by an early morning meeting ... or by work in any form, come to think of it.

Thursday, 08 January 2004

I feel a little rough this morning. My recent rediscovery of Double Maxim may have ensured a great night's sleep, but it took me an hour and a half of hitting the snooze button on the clock this morning before I could drag myself out of bed. I only met my daughter last night to pick up a 'phone, but I should have realised that beer would be involved. It was a little strange being out for a drink with her ... strange, but good.

Tuesday, 06 January 2004

I've not been home long ... had a bit of a panic because I'd forgotten that ASDA were delivering between 5:00 and 7:00, so I had to drop everything and rush home. I should take more notice of these things, though ... after reading the e-mailed confirmation, I saw I'd booked the wrong delivery slot and it's not even due yet.

I wonder if the delivery van gets lost this time.

Ugh ... why on earth don't I buy lottery tickets? I mean, routine can be a good thing, but I just don't function very well at this time of morning. And I'm sure that, in the great scheme of things, I'm simply not meant to have to work for a living.

There's quite a lot I could type here but, as is my tendency, I'll keep this short. Christmas and the New Year passed very nicely and way too quickly. I'd been looking forward to the time off, but it's gone already. Still, it was good. Really good. And, now, we've started planning the next trip to Prague. I'm looking forward to seeing the place in Winter, although memories of Munich last year (hell, it's 'last year' already) make me question the wisdom of going anywhere that has a huge supply of cheap beer, with a daughter who can drink me under the table.

I've mixed feelings about the past year; it started off really well, went pretty horibly wrong, then confusing, then ended on a high. I've real hopes for this year.

I suppose I should have been thinking lately in terms of resolutions, but since I've never bothered in the past I don't see why I should start all that rubbish now. I could benefit from being able to stop thinking at times when I've something on my mind, but I've already started working on that ... and, to be honest, I'm getting better at it.

Well, since I didn't buy that winning lottery ticket at the weekend, I really should make myself go to work.

Wednesday, 24 December 2003

My germs are still thriving. My head is still full of nasty stuff. I'll not be home over xmas, so I'll say happy christmas and good will to whatever before I forget. To quote an Eels song, everything's gonna be cool this christmas. And I thought I'd be feeling better this morning. While I was asleep, someone seems to have sneaked into my house, hit my head with something very heavy and filled it with concentrated washing-up liquid.

I so badly want to go back to bed and die.

Monday, 22 December 2003

My head is full of snot. It hurts. I'm sure it's going to explode. I'm going to bed.

Saturday, 20 December 2003

Hell, I was more than a bit drunk last night. Had my work xmas 'do' so we were out from lunchtime. I had a great time, though, despite the fact that it was impossible to go into a bar without bumping into bloody civil servants. It was good to see people I've known for years, have a laugh with the new people I work with and bump into a couple of old mates. And, fortunately, a lie-in has prevented any nasty after-effects. On a very slightly negative point, however, I'm beginning to wonder whether I've an effect on women ... that is, making them throw up in Metro station bins.

Friday, 19 December 2003

Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I just woke up. I was supposed to be at work an hour ago.

Thursday, 18 December 2003

Fuck. I've just done something really mean to a good mate. And, to make matters worse, it was all for nothing. I broke the stick-thing that opens and closes my kitchen blind a few months ago ... well, maybe a year or two ago. And taking up someone's suggestion, I decided to improvise using a piece of wood. I was lucky enough to find a little hook to screw in one end; great, everything was going well. But, then the hook snapped as I was screwing it in. It was the only one I had so I knew I'd need to resort to further improvisation. After searching for quite a while around the house I located a possible candidate ... unfortunately, it was one of a pair holding the bird's latter to the side of his cage. I say 'was', because I gave into temptation and borrowed one. Yes, I did feel bad. Particularly when he hissed at me. And I felt even worse when he sat on his cuttlefish, looking at the ladder which now leans to one side. Anyway, as I was screwing the hook into the wood, it snapped. Again. I couldn't be so mean as to take the last hook from his ladder so had to resorted to taking the stick from the bathroom blind. The kitchen blind, while looking a little odd, now opens and closes again. Now, I just need to find a hook with which to repair bird's ladder. And I don't really use the bathroom blind anyway.

Wednesday, 17 December 2003

I had another entertaining Metro ride tonight. An old man, who must have been at least 80, was singing away to a very confused young child ... Ay-ay-ay-ay-aym dreey-eey-eey-ming of a why-ay-ay-ay-ay-ayt ... You just had to hear it to appreciate it.

Apparently, well according to the latest piece of junk mail I've received, I can enjoy multiple orgasms, becoming a human volcano 'filled to the brim with intense, ever-flowing sexual energy that continues gushing hour after hour and all night long!' Ah, but there's a catch ... I need to take pills made from 'Wapiti Elk extract'. What on earth did the poor elk do to deserve that?

After picking up a last minute xmas present, on my way home today on the Metro, as the train was pulling out of Jesmond station, I heard a kid shout (in a very Geordie accent), Quick man, Mohammed, get on the fucking Metro.

Wednesday, 17 December 2003

Why is it that:

a) a duvet isn't square and your feet freeze when it's the wrong way round;

b) a clock radio can change the station from Metro to Radio One of its own accord;

c) a shirt that appears to be crisply ironed at 1:00am is in reality a mess at 7:00am?

Tuesday, 16 December 2003

Ugh ... there's just something really special about cold December mornings. I'd only just switched off the alarm (which woke me up to a White Stripes song that I'd listened to a couple of times last night before going to bed) and decided to have a lie-in, when I realised that I couldn't because I've a meeting this morning and I've done no preparation whatsoever for it. So, I didn't get my lie-in. Anyway, apart from that, today feels as though it's going to be a good one. I'm not exactly sure why; it just does. Maybe it's necause yesterday was good. Yesterday morning, I bumped into the old man with the dog that I used to see most mornings. I'd wondered why I'd not seen much of either of them lately and had assumed that one of them wasn't well. It's a lot simpler and nicer than that, though, since the old man (or perhaps his dog) had changed their morning route slightly because he (or they) was bored with the old one. We had a nice conversation about nothing in particular and I was late for work ... but that didn't matter at all. My day at work ended a little strangely too; it was dark when I left and, as I ran across the road to avoid a car I'd not noticed, I almost collided with a girl (who was walking a dog, funnily enough). Neither of us had seen each other in the dark, which was a little worrying since she was carrying a huge flashlight; I yelled 'fuck' and she shouted something along the lines of 'Waaaahhhh', then we laughed and continued on our separate ways. Some other good stuff happened yesterday too.

Monday, 15 December 2003

It's been a busy time lately; work's been hectic and I never seem to have a lot of time to do much on an evening. Somehow, though, everything seems to get done after a fashion so I'm not complaining. My mind's been over-occupied of late; with work (good and bad), personal life (good) and family (good in general, although I'm worried about someone who's ill), but I'm happy right now. I've spent the entire evening wrapping xmas presents; I was determined to finish the lot, so at least that's done now. I'd forgotten how tiring it can be though ... my back aches. Saying that, it was good to do something that didn't hurt my brain and any night with Lisa Germano playing loudly is a good one. Well, it's late and my second cup of coffee's almost gone, so I'm off to bed now.

Wednesday, 10 December 2003

Today was another long one ... didn't get away from work until 7:30. Spending a full day in workshops doesn't help; it's almost impossible to keep up with e-mail, let alone anything else. But that's not important at the moment because I've a day off tomorrow and I'm spending some time with my fiancee. I like that word. I'm so fucking happy right now.

Tuesday, 09 December 2003

I've not a lot to say tonight. Not much at all really. There is one thing, though. I got engaged on Saturday. I got engaged for the first time in my life. I have a fiance. I have the bestest, most gorgeous fucking fiance ever. And I'm happy.

Sunday, 07 December 2003

Something pretty absofuckinglutely amazing happened last night :)

Friday, 05 December 2003

I put up my xmas tree last night; the tree looks terrible, but the fairy's looking good in spite of her advancing years. I've been told that her wand (which isn't intact) makes her look like a Errol Flynn with a sword. Huh. My girlfriend can now only redeem herself by effecting a repair. This could be a Northern England version of the Holy Infant of Prague (I'm referring to its reconstruction and subsequent powers).

Monday, 01 December 2003

I'm now (barely) warm and dried out after my xmas shopping trip. Newcastle, although I love the place usually, was cold, wet and crowded. I arrived there later than I'd intended, since I made the mistake of calling home first, so at least it was a relatively short experience. I didn't buy a lot, but I did get some big ones out of the way. I'm bloody hungry now, though ... this shopping business is certainly hard work.

Thursday, 27 November 2003

It's raining this morning. It's also pretty wet inside my house. I'd decided on a bath before bed, last night, as I often do ... however, after hearing strange noises from upstairs I realised that I'd forgotten all about the running taps. The carpet was very wet last night. It's still very wet this morning and is still in the bath after last night's attempt to drain some of the water away. I'm wondering what the point of an overflow is if it can't cope with an overflow.

23 November 2003

Toast can be dangerous stuff. It's possibly my most favourite food, but I think that I need to recognise that, as in the case of most good things, there can be hazards. For instance, a short while ago I thought I'd make some toast. I did forget about it, but I tend to rely on the noise of the toaster as the toast pops up. However, tonight I was reminded of my toast by the smell of burning and the smoke coming from my kitchen.

The retrieval of my toast (or what was left of it) was hampered by the silly plastic box recently left by the Council for recycling purposes. Despite my severe injury, though, I was able to rescue (if that's the word, since it went in the bin) my toast.

After recovering, I decided to start clearing out a cupboard in my youngest daughter's old room. With hindsight, it wasn't a good idea. I was already feeling a little soppy after Paula had left and sorting through Luce's stuff, some of it going back to when she was pretty young, bothered me more than a little. I realised that I miss my kids ... by that, I don't mean that I actually miss my kids, because I see a lot of them. But I miss my kids as kids. They're great kids, though ... and this statement wasn't remotely influenced by the bottle of wine I've just drunk (oh, shit I've got work in the morning). Time for bed I guess ... my shin hurts, by the way.

Wednesday, 12 November 2003

I've used online shopping to save me the hassle of going to supermarkets and, in general, I've had no real problems. Well, apart from last time when someone else's groceries were delivered. Fortunately, I realised before the delivery van left and was able to claim my own shopping. Oh, and tonight. My delivery slot was between five and seven. At 7:10 I started to wonder whether there'd been a mistake with the order, so I checked the e-mailed confirmation. I had the right time and even the right date. At 7:30, the van driver rang to say he was lost. That may have had something to do with him not having my full address. The driver was lucky in that he was talking to someone with a great skill for giving clear directions. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky ... the person who filled the plastic bags with my shopping doesn't appear to know that Quorn burgers aren't the same thing as spicy bean burgers. Or that Quorn nuggets aren't the same as vegetable grills. I'm left with the impression that Asda are in possession of a Quorn mountain.

Tuesday, 11 November 2003

Just having a cup of coffee before I go to bed; I've been to Luce's tonight and haven't been home long. After fixing a broken kitchen unit, I thought we deserved a pint and so we went round her local, the Alex. The pub had changed quite a lot since I'd last been there; hardly surprising I suppose since I've not been in there since the 80s when it was a cool place to be ... needless to say, it isn't remotely cool nowadays. One important change is that the bar is now frequented almost wholly by persons engaged in espionage; well, at least by the two old drunks sitting in the corner who claimed to be spies. It would explain the fact that we couldn't understand a word from one of them ... he was allegedly a Russian spy so obviously wasn't speaking English. It was all very Len Deighton-ish ... ok, so it wasn't at all ... but it was bloody weird.

Monday, 10 November 2003

I'm fucked off tonight. I got home from work a few minutes ago and, while closing the kitchen blind, knocked my 'micromart' mug off the worktop. I bought that mug at a Computer Shopper show in Olympia in 1993 (it was the xmas show). It'd survived a divorce (cups tend to get smashed), two house moves and many previous falls onto the floor. Unfortunately the kitchen floor tiles were too much for it. I just had a cup of coffee, using my reserve Dr Who mug, but it didn't taste the same. Fuck.

Sunday, 09 November 2003

Happy :)

Wednesday, 29 October 2003

I was just about to go to bed when I noticed a little card by the front door. Apparently, my new bed was delivered a day early!!!

Tuesday, 21 October 2003

London was great. We had a really posh hotel and there was stuff for Paula to steal. We managed to fit in the National Gallery, The British Museum and the Tate Modern, which was impressive. And there was even a brief excursion to sunny Hertfordshire. Oh, and a slightly odd bus ride to Tottenham, after which I almost lost my daughter and girlfriend. And We went to see David Blaine in his plastic box (twice ... how could I forget that). I'll not mention Paula getting drunk in the 'crooked chimney' and throwing up afterwards because she also has embarassing things to say about me. I should be typing this on my own computer, but I missed the damn train home.

Friday, 17 October 2003

Got back from Liverpool (work)last night and am off to London (very much non-work) tomorrow morning. A weird thing happened in a bar in Liverpool, though. One of the people I was with mentioned a bar in Sunderland and, within a few seconds, a bloke who worked as a barman in that bar in Sunderland, walked past. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised since he's actually from Liverpool; well, he's Spanish originally I think, and he's called Pablo. Well, I thought it was weird.

Wednesday, 08 October 2003

An extract from an e-mail from a mate ... I was looking at this white mound in the window which was covered with cream and raspberries. I said to my Glasgow chum: Is that a sponge or a Meringue?' He replied, 'No, you are right it's a sponge (you need to say it out loud in a heavy Scots accent).

Monday, 01 September 2003

I learned something important today; that I shouldn't try to mess with anything electrical. I went to buy a tin of paint this afternoon and came back with a cool new light fitting for the kitchen. I fitted it myself and was very proud when it worked. I left it on a couple of hours to make sure it was ok and there were no problems. A little while ago, I went into the kitchen and turned the light on. It made a 'pop' noise and the lights all went out. I'm sure someone sneaked in when I was in the bath and undid all my expert wiring.

Friday, 29 August 2003

even more older Stuff ...