A text message from my spouse, received early this morning:

Is it grammatically correct to use an apostrophe in place of 'is'? As is Paula's dancing? There are some posters for a slimming club that say 'Sandra's slimming' and it looks horribly wrong. I don't know whether it's the apostrophe or the use of an adjective as a verb.

One can only wonder.

I've received another mobile phone picture from Phil. I've copied it below, with the complete message that accompanied it.

Apparently, I wasn't at home when a representative of National Grid Metering called today. A letter was left, advising that our Gas meter needed re-labelling 'as a result of the changes in the ownership of Gas Distribution Networks in the UK'.

A replacement label for the meter, with fitting instructions, was enclosed with the letter. As was a postage-paid card that I'm required to complete and post to confirm that I have re-labelled the meter.

Why?!!

I learned many years ago that women were strange creatures. It's since been my mission to make this more widely known. My view was reinforced tonight by an e-mail from Jeff. apparently Heather dreamt that I was in their bedroom with an electric hob, asking where it should be fitted. I don't really think I need to comment.

Lucy's old violin now has a new place of residence.

I wonder whether rubbish like this ever fools anyone?

THE LOTTERY DEPARTMENT BMW
Automobiles
22 Garden Close, Stamford,
Lincs, PE9 2YP, London
United Kingdom

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £450,000.00 (four hundred and fifty thousand Great British Pounds) and a branded new BMW 5 Series Car from International programs held on 9th Of March 2007 in London Uk.

Description of prize vehicle
Year: 2006
Model: 530iA
Color (exterior/interior): Black Sapphire Metallic/Black Leather
Mileage: 5
Transmission: Automatic 6 Speed
Options: Cold weather package, premium package, fold down rear seats w/ski bag, am fm stereo with single in dash compact disc player.
The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection system(ESS) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world.
 
The BMW Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and also Licensed by the The International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). This promotional lottery is the 3rd of its kind  and we intend to sensitize the public.
 
To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fiduciary claims department for more information as regards procedures to claim your prize.
===================================================================================

BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT UK
7 DOCK WAY, SEFTON BUSINESS PARK                                        
LONDON, T40 4RT
United Kingdom

CLAIMS OFFICER
Sir Andrew White
EMAIL : bmwannualpromo06@yahoo.co.uk
===================================================================================
Contact him and provide your secret pin code x7pwyz2006  and your Reference Number BMW:2551256003/23.You are also advised to provide him with the under listed informations as soon as possible:

Name in full:
Address in full:
Nationality:
Present Country:
Age:
Annual:
Income:
E-mail:
Mode of Prize Collection:
Phone /Fax:
===================================================================================

Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.
 
Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being a part of our promotional program.

SIR. HENRY LEEDS
THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS
BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT
UNITED KINGDOM.
--
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 268.18.8/717 - Release Date: 3/10/2007 2:25 PM

If you look very carefully, you can see me. It's kind of cool.

Phil just sent this phone photo to me ... it really doesn't need any explanation. Makes you think though, doesn't it?

Oh my God I can't believe it ... Saw the Kaiser Chiefs tonight. It's not the first time, but last year was at a festival so it's not quite the same thing. They were brilliant. I've never seen a band put so much into a gig before. They were wrecked. It's just a shame I bumped into a post afterwards. My head hurts a bit. I should probably stop bumping into things. Or there should be a law against such obstructions. Or something.

I'm on the train now; just out of Newcastle. Yes, Newcastle. I left the house at six this morning and caught a train to Edinburgh ten minutes ago. That's over five and a half hours. I was supposed to be in Glasgow for half ten. Apparently there was a signal blackout between York and Darlington. A replacement generator was needed and I have to admit that I was impressed at the speed with which this arrived. Unfortunately, the temporary generator didn't fit and it was some time before cables could be spliced together (I made that part up since I obviously don't have any idea as to how the wrong type of generator can be made to fit). This resulted in my being stuck in Durham for over three hours.

I should perhaps add that had I not boarded a train to Kings Cross rather than Glasgow I'd not have ended up in Durham in the first place.

For most of my life I've had very little in the way of tooth-related problems. However, the past three or four years have seen several lost fillings, one lost and one broken tooth. I lost another filling today. Wonderful.