Monthly Archives: November 2016


Someone in our local noticed my phone’s wallpaper. 

My second in command was recognised. Well, she does make a decent background. Her one good eye. 

The Maggie Bank

I came to North Shields this morning in search of beaded skirting board. And I was very pleased to find a close match to the 1800s skirting in the house. 

The timber yard was very busy, a Saturday morning thing I guess. A man helped me find the right skirting; they have a huge range. He asked me how much I needed and i said around 2.5 metres (knowing the limits of public transport). 

He went off to find a piece and returned a few minutes later. Apparently, it only comes in four metre lengths, which is actually great, but he’d cut off a metre and a half to match the size I wanted. He had to sell me the whole length, but it’s good to have spare. He said he’d left it outside for me, so I paid then went to collect the wood. 

The wood is currently with beer kegs out back at the Magnesia Bank. I realised that, even reduced in length, I’d not be able to transport it on the Metro. And, so, I needed to find somewhere to wait for a lift home. The Maggie Bank was an obvious choice. 

It’s six years since I’ve been here; I came for a pint with Ellen before a pretty cool wedding. Well, the pub’s just round the corner to the register office. 

It’s not a bad place to wait with a piece of skirting board. 


I’ve not made my mind up about Westworld. Thankfully, the series is only loosely based on the 70’s film, but I’m as yet undecided as to whether it’s decent. 

However, I was surprised by the inclusion of Yul Brynner in the fourth episode. Well, it obviously wasn’t him, rather a reference to his android character. 

The figure was, intentionally I’d assume, out of focus. 

Perhaps not quite as out of focus as my picture. 


I came to Ouseburn this morning, led by a web page, to attempt to find a match for some old skirting board. Unfortunately, the wood product vendor no longer copies old mouldings. It seems that the internet cannot always be trusted. 

It hasn’t been a wasted trip though. I’m now sitting round the corner, in the Free Trade Inn, in front of a fire, with a delicious pint of Box Social Porter. It tastes very chocolatey. 

They seem to have standard torus skirting here, so shouldn’t have any problem if they ever decide to remove a doorway. 

An early Kings of Leon album is playing and Craig David is asleep on a barrel. I’m quite content. 

It’s now raining, so I shall stay for another pint of Porter. 

Basic grammar

We seem to live in a world where technology is advancing at an incredible ace. And basic education standards are sliding into a grammatic abyss. The apostrophe, which I deeply love, appears to be, at the same time, both long forgotten and cruelly misused. 

An extreme example, perhaps, is an attempt at intelligent graffiti in Gateshead. Of course, one could argue that such a thing simply can’t exist. 

But here we go …


Lisinopril gave me an irritating cough. It also slightly lowered my blood pressure. 

And, so, I’m fresh from an appointment with a GP, with a prescription for an alternative drug. 

The GP agreed that my condition appears to be genetic, particularly in view of my vegan, negligible salt and sugar diet. I did confess a fondness for alcohol, but he advised that it’s fine in moderation.

So I’m now drinking beer at a moderate pace in my local. 

We’re still alive

We’re home now; well, we’re in our local. After last night’s singing along, there was a compulsory Spotify request: Are we alive:

Well lay me, lay me down

Rip my fucking clothes off she said

I may be disappointed that Augustines are no more, but at least we were there from the beginning. They’re not mainstream, and that’s what probably attracted us to We Are Augustines in a little tent at a festival in 2011. 

They could have been huge, but I’ll keep my theories to myself. Hopefully, though, they’ll branch off into three different directions. 

I shall go all quiet about such things now, apart from wishing them good luck for the future. I look forward to hearing them in their future projects and shall continue to enjoy their past. Although I hope their past extends to their future. 

Best live band I’ve ever seen.