Why do people:

a) decide to end their lives on a railway line

b) walk across or otherwise mess about on a railway line

On arrival at Darlington station, passengers on my train were informed that there had been a fatality on the line, so the train would remain at the platform for at least an hour. 

Which is pretty inconsiderate of the suicidal and/or foolish person. This has happened to me god knows how many times over the years, but never when I’m not in a hurry to get home. 

Learning from past experience (the last time this happened, my train was delayed two and a half hours just outside Peterborough station), I left the train and found a pub. 

It’s not the nicest of pubs, but Guinness is only £2.40 a pint. 

Several other people seem to have had the same idea. I guess a suicide is good for business.