Monthly Archives: August 2013

Meet me on the corner

… when the lights are coming on. And i’ll be there. I promise I’ll be there.

The Happy Cats (with a former Lindisfarne member) were simply brilliant tonight.

My second in command (barely recovered from her near lesbian encounter) loved the band, even though she’s not too aware of northern music history.

But, even Peterborough’s aware of the fog on the Tyne.

I should say that, if I was a girl and I were to be gay, I’d fancy my second in command.

I possibly should add that I’m neither.


Right now, I’m on a bus to work. I’m relieved it’s Friday, doubly so because it’s going to be a short day. And, even more so because I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.

A friend of a friend stayed over last night. I guess he’s a friend now too. He’s a good bloke, very decent, but this time he brought his sister. Who also seems to be pretty nice too.

Last night, after she’d had a bottle of wine or two, she seemed to have taken a shine to my second in command. But I didn’t really think anything of that at the time.

Early this morning though, I woke up to find her in our bedroom, trying to snog my second in command and climb into our bed. I pretended to be asleep at first, thinking I’d leave the problem to my other half. After a minute or two, and after my second in command had nipped me to wake me up (that might’ve been around the point where our guest requested a threesome), I assisted in removing her from the room.

They’ll be leaving this morning anyway, so there’s no need for awkwardness or confrontation, but my second in command is currently in bed with the door locked.

Something to talk about over a beer.


I’ve just finished painting lintels and windowsills and cleaned up a little more of the mess left over from pointing the front of the house. The past week’s left me tired and achey, but not in a bad way. I think I’ve saved around £1,700 by doing the work myself and the exercise was probably good for me. Working so far above ground was pretty horrific, but It didn’t result in death or injury.

I’m not sure I’d want to go through the experience again though.


Right, my local (the three tuns) has a pizza festival right now. You need to go there. Right now. And if you can’t, go tomorrow. Or the next day.

I’m not talking about squishy takeaway pizza. This is real pizza (in a Sainsbury’s commercial kind of voice).

Seriously, just get yourself here this (long) weekend.


Caught in a trap

Met my significant other from work this evening. Elvis was there. I had a wee with him. I guess he was caught in a trap urinal.



I swear I’ve never earned beer as much as I’ve earned beer today.

I started mixing mortar around 10:30 and I’ve just finished (at 20:20).

So I’m tired.

The ex-festival lights (both sets) are holding up well though.


Shower then pub I think.


I’m currently sitting in the garden, cooling down after a hard day’s work. Almost everything aches and I’m wondering whether I’ll actually die from exhaustion rather than as a result of falling from a great height.

Still, the garden’s a nice place to be.


While my bath’s running.