For almost all of my life, whenever anyone has asked whether I have family, I’ve responded with something along the lines of my mother, sister and a couple of cousins. Of course, that wasn’t correct. I have, or rather had, a father. And a half sister. Along with the former comes a largely forgotten group of uncles, aunts and cousins. 

My early childhood was hugely affected by my father’s (he was never a dad) behaviour. The massive financial ups and downs, the stories, lies and frequent absences, followed by an eventual disappearance one Christmas, resulted in my never wanting to see him again. That would’ve been when I was around nine. 

I was, though, forced to seek him out at the age of 17 because I needed his signature on a piece of paper. The meeting, at his house, lasted only an hour and a half or so. It was very uncomfortable and I had to endure a lengthy stream of fatherly advice before the signature was secured. I shan’t go into more detail, other than to say that his parting words were an offer of his shoulder should I ever need it. 

Neither of us attempted to make contact after that evening. 

While I was in his house, I met my half sister; a little girl in a school uniform. I think I resented her at the time; she appeared to have the dad I’d not really known. Well, not since my very early childhood. It was a conscious decision never to see my father, or anyone connected with him, again. 

A few years ago, my sister told me that she and my half sister were in touch with each other. She explained that my half sister was in the UK and asked if I wanted to meet her. I declined. 

My sister later told me that my half sister was very nice and her life with our father had also been pretty miserable. The lies and irrational behaviour hadn’t ended when he left our lives. 

A few days ago, I received a text message from my sister. My half sister had told her that our father had died. I did feel a little sad, but (and I’m not sure I can explain why) a little relieved. I came to the conclusion that my avoidance of my two sisters’ meeting four years ago hadn’t been my best decision and found her on Facebook (perhaps social media is of value after all). 

Anyway, the outcome was that all three siblings met last night. I have two sisters who, despite a difficult childhood (and father), are very nice people.